by Dr. Eric Shapira

January, 2011 — I think most of us don’t realize what we have until we’ve lost it. Most of us don’t stop to smell the roses. Most of us don’t think about what we have, let alone those that have not. As an old, wise friend once told me, “We don’t know what we don’t know and we don’t see what we don’t see.” What does this mean in terms of the new year?

I have been to many third-world countries in my short life. Recently, I returned to a small city in the northeast section of China, just below Inner Mongolia. This was my second visit to this remote place. It has a modern city, but go just to its outskirts and you will see poverty. Go further into the countryside and you will see more intense poverty. Go to any city in America and you will see poverty as well. Poverty is poverty no matter where you find it. Most of us close our eyes to it because it touches something in our psyches that makes us squirm.

In the new year, I think that we should reinvestigate our abilities to deal with poverty in a way that promotes comfortable change in ourselves and at the same time helps others to not only cope with but overcome this human state. I always say “We don’t know what gifts we have until we give them away” — these gifts being our personal attributes that can be used to make a difference to others in need.

I teach in China. I don’t agree with the leaders’ political views, but I do see a need to improve the human condition. By teaching others to help people in need within their borders I know that my gifts will make a long-standing difference. I have done this type of activity for many years, in many places around the world, in order to not only make a difference to others, but to myself as well.

A recent study at San Francisco State University indicated that people gain much more satisfaction and happiness when they have a personal experience such as jumping out of a plane, rather than buying an electronic device where the user’s interest may wane after consistent use. We can extrapolate this concept to the experience of doing things for others without expecting anything in return. Be creative with this one: Read to some of those in the hospital who can’t read to themselves; be a foster grandparent to a child who needs a role model; bring food to a shut-in. If you can imagine it, you can create it!

The great Gandhi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” In this new year, look deep within yourself and see how you can make a difference to others as well as to yourself. A new year means a new deal. A new deal means a contract, an agreement, a commitment with self for a new action that will hopefully make a difference and change the world — your own personal world as well as the world that we share — to a better place with a greater awareness of our fellow man.

Dr. Eric Shapira is a clinical gerontologist with Aging Mentor Services. He holds a master’s degree in clinical gerontology and a master’s in health administration. Shapira can be reached at agingmentor services.com or 650-728-5827.