by Janice Wallace

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Finally at the age of 60, Phil and Jan moved into their dream home. While I loved the dramatic views, I wondered: Would they be able to live in a three-story home for the next 20 years? There were three flights of stairs inside the house, their bedroom was on a different floor from the bathroom, and they parked their car down a further flight of stairs through the garden. I wasn’t surprised when they moved after 10 years to a home that will last a lifetime.

Helping your parent stay in his home or life involves careful planning. Start by viewing your parent’s home with an outsider’s eye. If your parent were disabled, what barriers would keep him from using and enjoying his home?

• Are there stairs inside or outside the home?

• Can the hallways and bathrooms accommodate a wheelchair or walker?

• Can he cook in the kitchen or wash clothes if he has trouble walking or standing?

Even something as simple as a raised doorsill can make it impossible to enter a house in a wheelchair. If your parent is planning to remodel his home, consider planning to remove barriers using universal design concepts.

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Arising from earlier design concepts like accessible design, which provides access for a person with limited mobility, universal design integrates barrier-free design concepts that are attractive and functional for everyone. Using universal design principles, your designer can make changes now that will meet possible needs in the future. For example, when remodeling your bathroom, include a shower that you can walk into without stepping over a barrier, and one that is large enough that someone can help you bathe.

Without remodeling there are changes that you can make to your parent’s home that will make it easier to live independently.

• Clear away clutter. Make sure hallways and stairs provide clear passages.

• Make sure that flooring and carpeting are in good condition with no uneven surfaces that can cause your parent to trip or slip.

• Make sure all stairways have sturdy handrails.

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• Install grab bars near the toilet and in the bath or shower.

• Make sure the tub or shower and bathroom floor are slip-proof.

• Move commonly used items to the middle range of storage so your parent doesn’t have to bend or climb on a stepladder to reach things.

• Talk to your parent about wearing an alert button that will let him call for help if he falls or feels ill.

Helping your parent stay in his own home can mean an increasing amount of work on your part. Because caregiving increases slowly over time, you may lose track of how much time you are devoting to your parent’s care. Periodically take stock of the time you are spending and seek out timesaving solutions and services.

Make sure you are getting outside support and taking breaks from caregiving. If you experience caregiver burnout and can no longer assist your parent, he may have to move.

Community services like adult day programs and senior centers create social opportunities for your parent and provide stay-at-home caregivers with a break. Social contact with other people can be a missing piece when staying at home. Being socially isolated can result in depression. It puts more pressure on you as you become the primary social outlet for your parent.

Staying at home can seem like the ideal way of aging. However, no solution is the right answer for every person and every situation. If staying home is not safe or your parent is isolated, moving may be the better answer.

Janice Wallace, The Eldercare Coach, consults with families that are caring for an aging relative. Her clients make better decisions with less stress by developing eldercare plans that honor the elder and the caregiver. To schedule a free 30-minute consultation, contact Janice at 415-661-3271 or via her Web sites: www.caringforcaregivers.com or understanding-dementia.com.