by Eric Shapira, DDS, MA, MHA

Opportunity knocks; now take advantage of it.

But does it knock? Will it knock? When? These are questions many of us ask ourselves daily. Why? Because all of us are wired for success; however, not all of us achieve it. And we can’t achieve that success without knowing how to do so, without trying for it — and often without surviving a crisis or two.

The Chinese word for crisis also means opportunity. So, out of every crisis comes an opportunity for positive change. All too often we take a negative path in the face of despair, rather than a positive one. It is said that there are those who make things happen, those who wait for things to happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder, “What the heck happened?” I am always one for making my own opportunities whenever possible. And I believe in having hope.

What is hope? Webster’s New World College Dictionary defines hope as “a feeling that what is wanted is likely to happen; desire accompanied by expectation.” Therefore, our expectations play a large role in what we hope for ourselves.

Uncommunicated expectations lead to disappointment. Disappointment can lead to anger, guilt and depression. If we have uncommunicated thoughts and don’t acknowledge what we desire, this may mean we’re dealing with false desires rather than what we really think and feel — and eventually communicate. Sound complicated? It can be! But understanding what we truly want and communicating that to others is essential to taking control of our destinies and getting our desires met —and having the wherewithal to deal with any challenges along the way.

Just last week I spoke with a gentleman who told me that every decision he had to make was a crisis and that he was sadomasochistic in his approach to solving problems. He said that he was basically negative in his thinking, and while he usually solves 90 percent of every problem, the other 10 percent creates some real stress for him because he doesn’t feel that he can solve the problem in total. I asked him to think about a “problem” as an unmet need rather than a problem. To me, the word “problem” has negative connotations and is a breeding ground for negative thinking and eventual failure. I asked him to think about how he approaches these unmet needs and to reframe them as challenges, which can then be fun to try and solve. Ultimately this will create far less stress on him, allowing him to break each issue down into manageable pieces rather than trying to solve the entire puzzle in one fell swoop.

Our perceptions are our reality. Gandhi said, “Our beliefs become our thoughts, our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our values and our values become our destiny.”

Change is constant in life. We all must embrace change in the process of living life and the realization of our hopes and dreams. These are difficult times, with significant financial stress. We can get stressed just thinking about the possibilities of losing work and struggling to make an adequate living, of losing our homes, and of other unthinkable happenings. But we need to remind ourselves that each of us has the gift of defining who we are and what we want for ourselves in life.

Rather than sitting around and wishing for something good to happen, we need to make our own opportunities and cherish each moment we spend doing so. Hope is the bridge that gives us the strength to cross the river of dreams to meet our goals. Hope is the glue we need to succeed, never losing sight of our rainbow. Believing in ourselves and knowing that we can create anything we can imagine is the best catalyst for changing our lives in a positive way.

As I have said before: Carpe diem, seize the day. It is yours for the taking.

Dr. Shapira is a clinical gerontologist and aging specialist who works with people of all ages assisting them through the transitions of the aging process. Contact him by calling 650-728-5827 or sending email to Eric@drshapira.com — or visit his website at www.agingmentorservices.com.