by Stephen Martin, MFT

After having a grave heart attack, Carl Jung wrote, “It is impossible to convey the beauty and intensity.” Was his attitude madness or practicality? I suggest a little of both.

When we experience a catastrophe, the only choice we have is how we will respond to the event. We do not get any choice about the incident; it has already happened. Most people live their lives regretting events that have already occurred. Nothing can take us back in time to reverse fact, and thus living your life as a victim of the past is not a wise decision.

Since our response to an event is the only thing under our control, choosing how we react is very important. That reaction will determine the happiness of our lives. Looking at life as a wonderful experience, no matter what occurs, makes life a lot easier than seeing mere difficulty in what happens to us. If we see everything as horrible, life becomes horrible. If we see everything as an opportunity for growth and development, then life is an adventure.

In this manner, Jung decided that experiencing a heart attack was both beautiful and intense. If he had decided the heart attack was horrible, then his life would have been unhappy. Deciding it was a magnificent experience gave him the opportunity to live life in a rich and wonderful way. It opened up the possibility to learn and grow from the incident. Once we indulge in self-pity, we are left feeling sorry for ourselves. And the outcome of our lives is determined by how we view what has already happened.

Growth under adversity. © Reberen | Dreamstime.com

The only way to enjoy life is to accept the events that have already occurred and embrace them as lessons and teachings. Doing so empowers us to grow from all our experiences. It makes us interesting and unusual beings, and it provides us with opportunity that is missing from those who see life as horrible and catastrophic. Positive people attract others to them. Negative people drive away friends and relatives. If we see ourselves as victims of horrific events, we are powerless and miserable. If we decide to accept what has already happened, we become alive, joyful and learners of life’s lessons.

Perhaps there is some madness in this approach to life. A wonderful movie called Zorba the Greek expresses this concept well. Zorba was a wild man who lived his life with zest and joy. When an uptight British traveler encountered Zorba, he used Zorba to teach him how to live abundantly, and at the end of the movie he asked Zorba to teach him how to dance. The most famous line in the movie was when Zorba challenged the British businessman to give in to spontaneous joy. “Boss, you need to be a little mad.”

I, along with Zorba, vote for a little more madness and a lot less worry. I would rather live my life experiencing what is happening with my full senses than be asleep and dull to the occasion. Sleeping while you are awake is merely waiting for the final curtain to come down. Maybe before the end comes, all the events of your life could be seen as awesome experiences. Living is a privilege, not a burden. Unless of course you decide that living is a burden, and then you have assured your fate.

So I vote with Dr. Jung and Zorba the Greek. Whatever the circumstances of life, may we see them as opportunities and as wonderful experiences rather than tragedies filled with despair!

Stephen Martin is a marriage and family therapist in private practice since 1980 with offices in Moss Beach. Martin has served as president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, the largest association of marriage therapists in the world. You can read Martin’s blog at his Web site, www.healmarriage.com. He can be reached at 650-726-1212, or by e-mail at stephen@healmarriage.com.