by Olga Aura

© Irina Igumnova | Dreamstime.com

It’s that time of the year: We set new resolutions and define new opportunities to live our best lives. Yet, didn’t you just do this 365 days ago, with similar goals — lose weight, do yoga, eat better — only to see temporary results, followed by backsliding to where you began? So what is the key to long-term results this year?

The key lies in the “why” underneath your goal. I asked a health-counseling client, Susan, “What would losing weight give you?”

A: “Feeling light, more energy, confidence.”

Q: “And what would that give you?”

A: “Meeting a romantic companion who will accept and love me.”

Q: “So what you really want is  acceptance and love? And that is the ‘why’ underneath your goal to lose weight?”

Having the “why” key is half of what’s needed for success; knowing which doors to unlock with it is the other half. The following five gateways will help you better understand your goals, identify self-sabotage swamps and create a clear action plan.

1. Acceptance is the first gateway on the path of becoming fully alive. And it is this gateway that sets apart short-term results from life-long transformation. The good news is that you don’t have to search far for this gateway — it’s inside of you.

I asked another client, Nancy, “Why do you diet, if you always gain the weight right back?”

A: “I can’t stand myself being heavy; it’s unacceptable.”

Q: “So you deprive yourself of nourishment out of self-criticism?”

A: “Well, you see, I grew up in a family of five and to win attention I had to be Daddy’s perfect little girl.”

Q: “And you have been equating being perfect with being loved ever since?”

A: “I never thought about it this way, but yes.”

Befriending your inner child is another way of looking at acceptance. I asked Nancy, “How do you think ‘little Nancy’ feels when you tell her she must diet because she is not good enough?” And suddenly a 5-year-old girl peeked out, saying, “I am mad at her for bullying me around: Don’t eat this, firm that, implant above, liposuc below. I just want to play and be loved.” The harder Nancy pushed to perfect herself, the more her inner child resisted, sabotaging every diet with massive ice cream binges. The gateway of acceptance    invites you to notice the thoughts of aggression and hate toward yourself. Would you be willing to embrace the tender imperfect parts of yourself?

2. Introspection is the playground on which you explore all parts of yourself: the good, the bad and the ugly. While journaling, meditating or taking a bath, self-criticism gives way to curiosity as you ask yourself questions. What makes my inner child happy? And did I do that today? 

As Marianne Williamson wrote, “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. …  Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” So ask yourself: How am I playing small? What needs to clear out in order for me to spread my wings and become fully alive?

3. Brainstorming is the process of answering those questions and getting great ideas. All successful people will tell you that brainstorming is the key to success. Michael was resistant to exercising at the gym; he said it was like a little prison that smelled bad. “Let’s brainstorm other body movement options you might like,” I told him. This is how you brainstorm: Set the timer for three minutes. Pick a topic and let the ideas flow. No analyzing or second-guessing — you can do that later. Just keep the pen moving on the page; write down 20, 30, or 50 ideas. Michael came up with this list: playing Frisbee with the dog, salsa dancing, house decorating, lovemaking, grocery shopping, gardening and much more. What physical activities would make your heart sing and empower you?

4. Visualization is the next step as you plant brainstorming ideas into your subconscious and watch them sprout. The mind communicates through words; the soul communicates through images. Whatever your 2009 resolutions are, imagine yourself as if those resolutions are already accomplished. What do you feel and look like? What are you eating? Where do you live and work? How is your love life?

During my 21-day cleanse program, I invite students to create an “I am fully alive” collage. For transformation to take place this year, surround yourself with the images  of the life you intend to live.

5.  Creating your success plan for 2009 is the final gateway. Now you are ready to break the big picture down into doable goals. Just like taking a road trip, you need to know where you are now (through acceptance and introspection) and where you are going.

How long will it take you to get there? Four months, more?

What needs to happen to reach your destination? Brainstorm ideas: a cleanse, body movement, play time, etc.

Build a timeline backwards: What habits and mile markers would need to be in place the month before your reach your goal? And the month before that? How far will you need to get the first month of the journey? The first week? Tomorrow?

The last and perhaps most important ingredient of a successful action plan is support. Who is part of your support network: a spouse, walking buddy, health counselor, coach? Recruit the support you need to help you through the tough times and keep you accountable.

Whatever your New Year’s resolutions are, remember that you are human — so breathe, eat with your fingers, make love, laugh and stay fresh with lots of green juice. Get started with this quick rejuvenating juice recipe.

I Am Fully Alive Juice

1 bunch celery

1 cucumber

1 lemon, unpeeled

1 inch fresh ginger

carrots (optional)

Olga Aura is an intuitive health counselor, public speaker, writer and the creator of the   21-day Seasonal Cleanse. Sign up for her free e-zine, “Becoming Fully Alive,” at www.IamFullyAlive.com or call her at 415-512-5775 to schedule  a complimentary consultation.