Photo courtesy of author.

by Bree Luther

The blended family can be defined as a family that consists of individuals not all biologically related to each other. The result is pure magic when one is open to  receiving the collective challenges and gifts that present themselves within this unique family structure. I live this life; I grew up in a blended family and now live with my life partner and our children in a blended family.

Recently our family was gifted with a hummingbird. Although alive it could not fly as one of its wings was broken. This little bird touched our lives for several weeks and called us to deeper reflections. 

On a Papyrus greeting card, I read, “Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation.” Reflecting on the significant role the hummingbird assumes in many Native American stories and cultures, I wondered how one might apply this wisdom in the context of the blended family.

“Every personal connection has meaning.” That’s especially true at those times when relationships and circumstances feel toxic. For many years I have courted a deeper appreciation that the  relationships that were challenging me were indeed some of my greatest teachers — pointing me back to my center, back to what was and is true for me, nudging me along the path of healing through heartbreak, anger, grief, guilt and a deep sadness. For along this path is where laughter, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, and clarity were also found. Courage was my ally; a new light was shed on an old story and a new life emerged.

On a much larger scale, is this not to some degree what we are faced with in this century? How do we find the path through some of the most challenging issues facing our world and communities today? How do we connect and communicate across borders? Across different perspectives and points of view? 

In my studies at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology I saw these types of concerns inspiring the growth of collaborative leadership; I now see such leadership emerging in corporate and political structures. A woman who had recently attended a global leadership forum shared with me that one of the top discussions was poised around how family structures are influencing corporate structures. “The ladder no longer exists,” she said. “It is now a lattice, and our work is to transform the old mindsets.”

Perhaps the widespread climate of blended families gives our next generation a practice ground in finding truth amongst multiple points of view — learning how to live sustainably and peacefully across borders with oftentimes cultural, social and economic differences. Can we see past our created circumstances and reach deeper into meaning? For me the answer was yes! I was drawn to expand my thinking, open my heart and allow space for transformation and possibility.

What dream of love, joy and celebration lives inside you? I invite you to have the courage to look deep within yourself to unlock the unlimited possibilities within your blended family, extended worldview and beyond. May we all be open to learn from the hummingbirds.

Bree Luther is a transformational coach who writes on a broad spectrum of topics and is currently creating a book on blended families. She lives in El Granada with her partner, their four children, two cats, white tree frog, bearded dragon and two goldfish named Mark and Bree. For more information, visit www.brendaluther.com.