by Dr. Eric Shapira

Oct. 1, 2010 — Anger can be a vicious, disruptive emotion at times — and at other times it is completely justified. However, letting anger get the best of you is detrimental to your well-being and mental outlook. Anger is an expression of displeasure or extreme passion in the form of rage or fury. Anger can be destructive to relationships. It is also destructive to one’s ability to see things clearly, causing irrationality.

Continuous anger can be habit-forming, as rage increases certain chemicals within the brain, such as dopamine and endorphins, bringing pleasure and excitement to our physical and emotional selves. Given enough anger and its chemical effects, one can get used to the good chemistry that is produced.

Anger stimulates epinephrine and cortisol, chemicals that can help us in times of danger. But at other times, these chemicals can cause serious side effects such as high blood pressure, increased blood sugar levels, and possible arrhythmias and irregular breathing patterns, ending in stroke or heart attack.

Anger can provoke us to act in self-defense and it can lead us into doing harm to someone else. Chemical imbalances in the brain can cause irrationality during fits of anger. People who exhibit rage are “blinded” by this chemical attack on their ability to think rationally at the time. Many a bad deed has been committed under this pretense — bad deeds that cannot be taken back.

Collecting anger or storing anger up for long periods of time can be self-destructive. Anger can lead to low self-esteem and depression as a result. Gunnysacking of anger can end in disaster for the person harboring such emotions because at some point the “sack” will break, allowing a flood of emotions to pour out.

Anger can come from unrealized emotional trauma, fear or anxiety about something “stuffed” away in our psyches. Post-traumatic stress disorder is an example of this complex mechanism, whereby emotions are stuffed and not dealt with, leaving the trauma to “fester” in the recesses of one’s mind. When a stimulus occurs — exposing hidden emotional anguish, anger or a forgotten memory of the original trauma — emotions are brought to the forefront. Suicide has been a very prevalent result of unresolved anger and anguish related to post-traumatic stress that has not been mitigated through counseling or self-realization.

Forgiveness — the act of pardoning someone for doing wrong — is a solution to solving the negative side of anger. Forgiveness is freeing, allowing one to let go of emotional baggage and irrational ideas that have been stacked up for so long.

Forgiving others for expectations they may have placed on us as well as forgiving ourselves for the expectations we have inadvertently placed on ourselves is the best gift we can give ourselves. Forgiving ourselves will begin the process of freeing our minds and improving our relationships with others, especially loved ones we have estranged ourselves from due to pent-up anger.

It is good to slow down and focus on our inner selves. Controlled breathing will help, allowing one to relax and center. Getting in touch with our feelings, thinking about our anger, we can visualize how we are allowing ourselves to be controlled by these feelings. We now need to let go of the anger in our mind’s eye. Just let it go from your thoughts and mind. Forgiving ourselves, we can now move forward in a positive direction with peace of mind.

The great Buddha stated, “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.”

Dr. Eric Shapira is a clinical gerontologist with Aging Mentor Services. He holds a master’s degree in clinical gerontology and a master’s in health administration. Shapira can be reached at agingmentor services.com or 650-728-5827.